THE TALK I HAD WITH MY FATHER IN-LAW REALLY HELPED, he told me they knew about the pictures before the wedding,  I was not proud of the pic but I was happy that such a noble man would give his daughter’s hand in marriage to a fornicator,  I hate branding myself as such but that was the truth and I despised myself for ever doing and entertaining such a thing.  May Allah forgive me and  guide those in that kinda life. 

I was happy about dad’s quick recovery, but i couldn’t  stop hating myself for making it all happen. Especially with my siblings we all acted like nothing had happen but I felt like I was on a time bomb waiting to go off at any given time. 

I watched with hooded eyes as she craned her neck to the side,  spraying her body perfume on her neck and then massaging it into her  skin. I swallowed hard and turned facing the other side. Tomorrow was the opening  of her Shelter and i was very proud of her, what she’s achieved and overcome. 
“So how do you know Jessica?” i asked surprising myself,  that wasn’t what i wanted to ask i wanted to know if she’d really forgiven me,  she stopped her hand mid air as she was tying her hair in a ponytail,  she sighed and turned to me,  “Do you really want to know how?” she asked squinting her eyes at me like she knew something I didn’t,  I nodded hesitantly I didn’t remember ever talking to her about Jess “Well she’s my client” she said seating herself on the long  couch placed at the foot of the bed.  I nodded and walked opposite her,  she arched her eyebrow up when I turned and met her eyes “Do you want me to continue?” I didn’t feel comfortable with her questions I told her I was no saint but it’s awkward when the person i’m asking her about is an ex-lover. “Well her sister was a colleague and came to me when Jess was raped at work” my eyes widened in shock “When was that?” I asked sincerely  surprised by the revelation. She smirked and rolled her eyes “And you won’t believe who did it?” she added “Who” I wanted to ask but I had a feeling I wasn’t going to tinkle her answer. My eyes moved to her shoulder as she played with the strap of her night gown i swallowed hard and looked at her face “Well the said rapist happens to be her boss” she said clapping her eyes and abruptly rising from the couch. I blinked rapidly in confusion “And the last time I checked you happened to be her BOSS dear husband of mine” she said in a sultry seductive voice behind my ear,  I didn’t even notice her leaving her position “You don’t believe that do you?” I asked my voice wavering a bit. 
One thing I’d never do is force myself on a woman, I’ve been with quite a few and I’ve never forced myself on any of them,  I turned and held her arms “You don’t believe that do you?” I asked looking deep into her eyes she swallowed making her throat bob “No” she whispered “i am happy she did bring her case to me though, it led me to the most amazing man I’ve ever known and even though you had strings of lovers in the past” she adding frowning a bit when she said lovers. “I’m not so proud of my past myself Zahra but I thank Allah for making you come my way, you are my light you pulled me away from the darkness I pushed myself into” I replied kissing her lips. 

I was not proud of what I did in my past, I was lucky to have a wife and family who stuck with me even after all the embarrassment i’ve put them through. 


    I WAS HAPPY THINGS WERE BACK TO NORMAL,  I’D never thought he knew I had contact with Jess  i cut all contact with her when she sent all those messages prior to my  wedding  I was surprised she and her sister never contacted me again though. “Why are you frowning?” he asked wrapping his arms around me I smiled  and placed my head on his shoulder “Nothing just happy about the program” I fibbed although it was not a total lie,  he kissed my cheek “I’m proud of you,  and I know all those kids are happy for what you’re doing for them” I swallowed I smiled nervously I hope I can continue doing this and do it right. 

We were having the sod cutting event this morning,  followed by the fun games we’d organise for the kids then we’ll do the fund raising tonight. 


I smiled as I cut the tape with the First Lady, I didn’t know if she’d make it  I taught she would  send someone in her place. 


“I want to thank each and everyone who sponsored us, but one thing I’d like to clarify is being molested doesn’t make you less of a woman I’ve seen and heard of greatest women and men alike who’ve been abused, I mean women and men  like Oprah Winfrey,  Gabriella Union, Vanessa Williams, Tyler Perry,  R Kelly and a whole lot of people have been victims…. But have turned out well” my voice constricted “We are not to be stigmatised we are warriors and I say we because I HAVE BEEN A VICTIM” 

THERE WERE gasps from the crowd my eye caught my parents’and I could tell they were really surprised “Yes I’ve been a victim, and please to the parents have a good relationship with your children so they can come to you when they’re going through things like this” I ended abruptly and left the stage,  quite a few people were wiping tears from their face, it was very difficult holding my emotions in check,  I went to the backstage and hugged Annette  tightly I felt a tap on my shoulder I released Annette and turned around mom hugged the life out of me, she burst into tears and held me tightly like I was going to be snatched from her. 

“You should have said something” she said when we were more relaxed dad held my hand rubbed his thumb lightly on it “You should have reported to me honey who was it” dad asked I could tell he was really mad at whoever did this,  “There’s no need for that I said looking at the both of them it’s past now” I hugged the both of them, maybe if I had not gone through that I’d never have think of helping people who had been in the same situation.

I left my parents and mingled with the guest who had made it, thanking and reminding them of the fund raising event we had tonight. Aunty Zainab squeezed me tightly in her hug, “I adore you FATIMA, I can’t believe you’ve been through that and you still handled my brother well even with all your past,  I’m glad to have you as a sister” I smiled “I’m happy to have you as an older sister Aunty” I replied shyly Maria hugged me as tightly as her big belly made her “I can’t wait for the day I’ll see you pregnant with my brother’s baby” she whispered in my ear. 
We turned when we heard the  clear of throat, “Hey wifey” Maruf said raising his eyebrow “I’m proud of you he said and gave me an awkward hug. “Hey that’s my wife you’re manhandling” AHMAD said in a stern voice “Argh” I groaned rolling my eyes “Everyone knows she’s mine big bro,  I’m I not right wifey” he teased I chuckled and nodded “You’re so annoying AHMAD” Aunty Zainab complained shaking her head.  Maruf left my side as Ahmad invaded my space   “I’ll you borrow her for a second bro” Maruf said giving me a flirty wink “Are you later munchkin” I replied giving him a wink of my own.  I watched as the siblings left us. I thank God  for my family. 

“So hes your munchkins?” he asked knitting his brow and twisting his lip i giggled and hugged him, “Yup and you are my Oga at the top”, “Why do you call me that?” he asked pulling from the hug “Cos you are my Oga at the top” i replied imitating his expression “I’m proud of you, i’m grateful for having you as a life partner” he said hugging me again. 

“And me you” i said in my head. 

“Let me go see the kids” i said pulling from the hug. 
Dedicated to FATIMA Kaka. 


This page really tugs at  my hearts all the celebs I mentioned were victims and it’s so sad cos this thing is really happening I want to urge whoever has been through this that it’s not the end AND WE CAN MAKE IT 🙌💪


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