I dedicate this page to ma dear friend Elijah happy belated birthday, we’re gonna make it. Thanks for giving me so much hope, opportunities and for just being you,  may the good Lord  throw bountiful blessings your way throughout the super  long years you have ahead.

Much love 

Meena 🌹👸🇬🇭

Seven 💕


It seems the fog I’ve forcefully plunged my mind in was clearing up,  and it was doing so really fast.  Memories I’ve locked in the darkest part of my mind slowly unleashed creeping into my thoughts and I could not control myself. 

    I’m no longer the scared kid but it seems I’ve been scarred for life. I looked at Cassie’s  turned back then looked away. 

    The old lady’s words whispered in my ear,  it could never be, no torture or pain could surpass the one I’ve been through as a kid. I closed my eyes and pulled Cassie into a tight embrace warding off all thoughts of my past. 


    Marriage, the life long prison I’ve detested since I was a teen, as I grew older my perspective on marriage never change but altered. 

     I promised myself a fun marriage life, my spouse had to be wealthy or wealthy  and had the potential to be richer. Even though I’ve never dated an age mate,  I always engaged in relationships with rich older men the only disadvantage was I couldn’t marry one,  even when I had such men at my beck and call who’d have readily walked down the aisle without batting an eye, I couldn’t deny the fact that  they were all tied up in a way, some had other mistresses, others   had wives while some  had kids who’d only be a nuisance to me. The men would have  probably     died too early into the marriage.  So Steph became my only option,  he was young, intelligent and handsome. 

    I didn’t love him but he was a better option and an upgrade to  the older men and even some young men who showed interest in me, we all foresaw a brighter future for him,  he had companies chasing him even when we were in school that only heightened my interest in him,  and he had no one. No ties to any family that also  meant I would be the only one who’d enjoy the fruits of his hardwork and above all mom liked him. 

       She knew how much I detested marriage so bringing  Steph to the house was a surprise to her. She couldn’t hide her joy she  called  him asew (in-law)  before he even proposed, how could I deny the wishes  of a woman who has sacrificed so much for me. 

    Steph was not home when I woke up, today marked the rebirth of Cassie Yawson. I went through my morning routine as slow as I could gathering my thoughts to the big plan.  Nora was probably at work now,  I took my phone hovering my thumb  over her number as I contemplated if calling her was the best idea.  With what  I had in mind calling her would be a huge mistake.  I tapped the exit pad and placed the phone down. 

     Gently slathering my body with my body lotion, I would be seeing a doctor today, go shopping and probably call Nora to catch up. 
    I was surprised when I heard movement in the kitchen for all I knew we lived alone.  My breath became shallow as I tiptoed to the kitchen I peeked inside the kitchen hiding my body behind the wall. I sighed when I saw a lady in a uniform with an apron over it.  I entered the kitchen clearing my throat as I made way to the dinning area.  I preferred using the dinning area to the dinning room, it looked more casual. 

    She turned around a bit shocked but smiled when her eyes met mine “Good morning madam,  welcome” I nodded stretching my lips in return. “What’s your name?” I asked curtly her smile faltered, I almost rolled my eyes when she swallowed “Awura Abena maa” I rolled my eyes a bit and walked to the table.  She brought all my favorite fruits the very moment I  took my seat and placed them gently on the table, I ate a bit of  every fruit before drinking the cup of creamy tea she had made for me. 

    It seemed Steph had already briefed her about all my likes before leaving. My lip quirked a bit when I remember what happened yesterday. I heaved a sigh and rose from the table,  today was going to be long day. 
    I went back to the bedroom for my bag and phone, I opened one of the drawers and took one of his car keys,  I tapped on my phone to see if I had any missed calls but there was none.  

    I drove straight to the hospital,  I didn’t have to wait in a  long queue since it was a private hospital.  I heaved a sigh when I finally made it to  the doctor’s office. 

    “Good afternoon” I greeted as I took my seat opposite her. “Good afternoon welcome” she looked down on my file and looked back up at me “Mrs Botchway I can see you want to have an IUD” I nodded in response,  “Are you sure about this?” she asked worriedly  eyeing my ring “We normally do this kind of things in the presence of your partner” “No  it’s okay” I quickly uttered before she could bombard me with another question. 
    “We will have to ran some test on you and  then take you through the types of IUDs we have” I nodded in response, as she rang in the nurse, the nurse came in with a pregnancy  kit  went through the process to use it with me and ushered me to the bathroom, my hands were shaky as I held it,  I was sure I couldn’t be pregnant but anything could happen many pregnancies happened even when the ladies were on contraceptives. 

    I closed my eyes after urinating praying to all I held dear to make the results negative, I came out of the bathroom and reclaimed  my seat, the next minutes went by agonizingly slow   I heaved a sigh when the  nurse finally came out with the test but I  was still nervous.  The doctor nodded and turned the negative test sign to me.  
    “Do you have a regular menstrual cycle?” Dr Jefferson asked after the nurse left.  “No it’s irregular” she nodded and wrote something on the file “what of your flow is it normal or heavy?” I  rolled my eyes a bit “it’s mostly heavy although I  do have normal flows sometimes” she nodded again scribbling on the file  then looked up, “Well we do two  types of IUDs here  The mirena intrauterine device and the palagard copper IUD, the mirena IUD is for five years and  mostly deals  with hormones whiles the palagard is  for a longer period ten years to be  exact,   but with your situation I recommend the Mirena,  it regulates your cycle and also lessen  the cramp”,

     I nodded  contemplating on which one  to choose, “which one is more effective” I asked nervously chewing on my lips, “they are all effective we are 99% percent sure you won’t  be pregnant with either one you choose” I  sighed and nodded.  “I want the mirena” I uttered,  she smiled and nodded then called the nurse in again,  I was given the loose hospital gown to change into,  the nurse helped me on the bed the pulled my gown up “this is going to be a bit cold” the doctor warned before applying a gel on my tummy, she then placed a wand on my stomach and started moving it around, “Well that’s your uterus she said pointing to the screen. 

    “I wanted to be sure if you had a big uterus cos IUDs tend to come off but everything looks good in here” I nodded and closed my eyes as they inserted the T shaped object inside me. 
    “You’ll feel a bit uneasy cos it’s a bit foreign to you but it shouldn’t hurt and we’re 99%  percent sure you won’t fall pregnant  with this kind of IUD, it has its hormonal effects but you can come over if you feel any unusual feeling”

    I left the doctor’s feeling a whole lot better, I won’t be tied down in anyway the next five years and  I’m living my life to the fullest. 


    Sorry for the late post but I really need your prayers my mom will be undergoing surgery tomorrow.  Hope it will be successful.  




    Six 💕

    I felt cold sweat ran down my spine as we made our  way to the airport, Steph  has been eerily quite, I felt somewhat scared to ask him what the problem was, was the old woman’s words getting to him?.  Her words seemed to have gotten to me and manifested itself into a scary dream I shivered from just  remembering  it. 

    I was somewhat relieved when we started descending the stairs of the plane, I forced a smile on my face and held his hand as we walked to the luggage section. No matter how scared I  was I was never going to give up on Steph, never, and nothing was going to  change my mind,  what would an old lady know anyways.  She’s probably one of those bitter old women who were never smart to utilize their youthfulness and beauty  and now  envy young girls who seem to have it all,  I just don’t care there was no way I was ever going to give up Steph or his money, who knows I might even learn to love him. I shook my head at the thought love was not part of the equation it’s nothing but a  disgusting feeling people use to hold each other down,  who needs love when they had money. Love was for teenagers no sensible grown woman needs love,  no,  a woman needs to be pampered and well taken care of enjoying all the luxury of the world without lifting a finger.  She’s suppose to be treated like a queen. 

    I squeezed his hand and smiled when he turned his eyes to me, he smiled back and went for our luggage. We didn’t keep long after that there was no bustle at the airport and  had no problem picking our luggage. 

    Then we’re cleared to go,  I looked around when we got outside I seemed preoccupied when we were inside so I didn’t ask if he had asked anyone to come pick us I looked around the parking lot ifvi could spot any familiar face but there was none,  “Steph who did you ask to come pick us up?” I asked as I automatically scrunched my face. He was looking down at his phone I couldn’t tell if he had heard me or not. “Steph?” I called again shaking his hand a bit “Could you please be quiet with the whining Casse I’m trying to concentrate here” he snapped  as he typed furiously on his phone “Besides we are taking a taxi” he added he voice rising as he spoke,  I looked around and quite a few people were looking at us I clenched my hand and started counting in my head praying to God not to lose it. He was so dead I hate taking public transport and he was forcing it down on me whiles shouting,  “Cool down Cassie” I started repeating the mantra in my head I looked around at the people around and then at Steph who seemed to be totally oblivious at what was happening maybe he was upset about something, maybe it was just business. 
    “Can we please get a rental car I’m getting tired here” I requested as calmly as I could manage without letting him in on how annoyed I was. 

    He nodded and led the way to the taxi stop where lots of taxis stationed just adjacent the airport “Steph I don’t like public transports,  they are too degrading let’s take a  rental you can have one of your boys bring it back” he looked back at me with surprise written all over his face and a scowl “This is much easier than a rental Casse” my breath hitched  as my anger escalated I looked at the car disgustingly,  Steph was going to pay for this this was so humiliating did he know how much I’ve gone through to build the Cassie Yawson he has made marry,  he was going to pay so dearly. 

    If we were taking a  taxi today next he’ll be asking me to board a trotro (ovan) and who knows what will be next okada or mahama kambu (tricycle). Let’s see how this game will end,  a little ruffle from his past and he’s acting all moody.  I entered the car as graciously as I could covering my eyes with my Gucci sunshades.
    The ride home was very quiet,  Steph thinking of whatever was eating him up and I brooding on how disgraceful it will be for our neighbors to see us arriving in a taxi. I practically jumped out of the car when we got home inhaling the fresh air deeply,  there were no nosy although some do pry, I nodded at the security guy who was welcoming me and walked inside the house hurriedly, it was time to strategise how to make Steph pay for embarrassing me. 


    Five 💕

    I couldn’t decipher what was happening to me so I decided to enjoy  whatever fun Steph had planned,  maybe letting this be a real honeymoon will ease the pressure  on the both of us,  for heaven knows I’d never remarry : enjoying this one to the fullest is my only option. 

    Today’s tour was nothing short of amazing and sad,  seeing the prisons and everything had a little damper on my mood but I lightened up when we joined the carnival. Steph bought the huge feather crown and tutu for me,  I looked funny when I wore it, I had to pull my dress up tying the ends so I  could dance freely. We took lots of pictures and videos.  “Let’s go over there Steph” I uttered pulling him to a tent, there was a long queue but I was curious to know what was going on.  “Why are we still standing here when we can be having fun” he asked trying to pull me away, I shook my head and wrapped his hand around my body “We’ll know when we get there”I watched as couples walked away smiling, and others with frowns. 

    I didn’t believe in this but it would be fun to  see how people make up lies about your life and tell you the impossible would come to pass. 
    I smiled and kissed Steph whenever he tsked I was getting  impatient myself but my curiosity was at its peak. 

    We waited patiently as the girl before us rose from the woman’s chair with a wide smile on he face. 

    I almost bellowed in laughter at Steph’s scrunched face as he took his seat he looked like he a child that had been denied his favorite candy.  “Aww poor baby stop sulking” I cooed pouting my lips a bit then turned to the lady.  “Ah I can see you two are newly weds” the old lady said in her thick South African accent as she placed her stack of cards close to her, I almost rolled my eyes we were definitely newly weds our wedding bands were brand new even a blind man could tell we were newly married. 

    “Give me your hand” I thrusted my hand into her wrinkled ones and waited for her to speak “Ah” she began with a wide smile then frowned as her smile dropped just as it came “I can see so much bitterness” she began in a voice so small I wouldn’t  have heard if I wasn’t so attentive, then crossed a look at Steph,  I didn’t miss the glint of  sadness that crossed her face. She forced a smile  and asked Steph for his hand, he frowned in confusion as he gave her his hand “You are a brave one” she said looking up after she had studied the lines in his hand, there was some kind of message that transpired between them when their eyes locked. 

    “What you will go through is going to  hurt more than what you’ve been through but you are a brave one” she volubled.

    “We are charactarised by different motions,  we choose which one to depict us” she said quickly looking into my eyes I couldn’t avoid the loud thumping of my heart as fear set into my veins seeping into my blood and bone. My breath became shallow as I  shivered from the sudden chill that engulfed me. 

    My brain was  shouting run but my limbs were too weak to comply. What was happening,  I blinked rapidly when my eye met Steph’s did he catch on what the woman told me?.  I forced a smile at his worried face but even I could tell it wasn’t convincing.  “I doubt what she said is e-e-ver going to come to pass” he assured but the little waver in his voice was enough to tell me even he wasn’t sure of what he was saying maybe we were two disturbed souls who have only come together to ruin each other. 

    But even if I was to be ruined there was no way I’d be miserable like my mom,  this only  certified that my future actions will be totally necessary, ‘I’ll never end up miserable’ I repeated the mantra as I shook my head sideways. 


    Four 💕


    Steve moved in synch with me, the guy was an amazing dancer,  I was so lost in the music I didn’t realize he was not the one I was dancing  with, “I’m so sorry Casse, I promise to make it up to you” I nodded and held his hand walking away from the dance floor.  I sat on his lap  when we made it to our seats. 

    As annoying as he was as he always made me feel better and the only thing I  could do was let bygones be bygones and cherish whatever we have before it goes down the hill,  maybe we might be in for longer than I bargained,  I placed my head on his chest listening to the loud thump of his heart as he combed through  my hair with his long fingers. 

    Steph really meant business when he said he was making it up to me, we left the club earlier than Steve, we couldn’t even get to say goodbye cos he was playing his normal antics charming the pants off any woman who was game to let it down. 

    I groaned in pain as I removed my shoe seating myself on the huge one seater  couch that was near the window,  “I’ll be right back” he whispered planting a kiss on my forehead and walking away. 

    I couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol that had my eyes drooping I couldn’t keep them open I felt my body being lifted and wrapped my hands around his neck.  Then groaned when I felt the warm water envelope my tired body,  the scent that wafted through my nostril seem to be awakening my senses.
    I relaxed as Steph massaged and bathed me, then later slathered my body with my sweet scented vanilla body lotion and dressed me up. 

    I could barely keep my eyes open after I  was dressed.
    The next morning was a repeat of last night’s event,  I was awakened by the aroma of the sweet South African cuisine he had placed on a table at the foot of the bed and showered my face with kisses before carrying me to the bathroom.  “Steph you are spoiling me you know if I get used to this you are going to make it dif……   to find a hard time getting  rid of me” I quickly corrected my words. I could feel his breath on my neck as he wrapped his arm around my body “I’m i forgiven?” he asked in a sad voice I couldn’t even think of  how he did it.  “yes” I replied.  “Thank you so much my love” he uttered huffing as he showered kisses on my neck and the side of my face. 

    “Stop it Steph” I squealed as I tried to escape from his hold.  “You have to stop this you know, you’ll seldom do it when we return home” that only seemed to fuel his advances so I surrendered as he yet again unclothed me for another bath. 
    My morning bath was much shorter than last night maybe because I  was wide awake and somehow shy,  but it made me feel some kind of closure with him,  even if he couldn’t have my love the closure was enough. 
    I watched his eyes dance with emotions as he fed me the mouthwatering dishes.
    “Thanks so much for forgiving me I just never knew you were into parties I can barely think when you are angry with me” he muttered as he wiped the side of my lips,  I think he might have sensed the sudden change in my demeanor after I had dressed in yet again another flowy ankle length dress for whatever we were going to be doing today. I gave him a tight lipped smile as I eased my feet in my flip flops.

    “I love you honey” I gave him another nod my smile widening this time around. If only I could return those words. 



    Three 💕


    I marveled at how excited Steph was,  I rolled my eyes when I came out of the bathroom and  he was on the phone with his new friend,  he motioned  for me to join him with his hand,  “Come here” he mouthed when I remained rooted to my spot,  he gave me a wet kiss on my cheek resting his hand on my tummy,  “We’ll see you later tonight Steve, and we’ll definitely hit that club you are talking about” my lips tugged up,  I was excited to finally get to hit the club maybe Steve was going to be my favorite person. 

    “How are you feeling? Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor” he asked worriedly after he was done with his call “God Steph I’ve told you numerous times already, I’m ok,  I just slipped and I’m ok now,  geez…… And I’m definitely not seeing a doctor when I just heard you talk about going to the club”  I quickly added giving him a peck  on the lip. 

    He huffed and nodded in defeat,  walking out of the bedroom, I slowly shook my head and hurriedly entered the walk-in closet going for the one dress that was fixated on my mind the very minute I heard we were going to a party, I slowly pulled out the off shoulder mid thigh body hug I had stacked at the far end of the closet,  I wasn’t so sure about hitting the club cos Steph was so not a party person but I guess not losing hope was a good thing ,  I wasn’t happy when I heard we were coming here but  Joburg had very wild clubs the parties were literally outta this world crazy, and hopefully Port Elizabeth won’t be so different.

     I smiled and gently placed the dress on the bed as I massaged my body with my sweet scented cocoa butter  lotion. 

    Steph squinted his eyes watching me through the mirror as I applied my makeup, “Babe is this dress not too short and small” I huffed inwardly clearing the  sudden catch in my throat 

    “Steph do you mean to say I’m too fat, God we’re not even a month into this marriage and…… ” he held his hands in  surrender  blinking rapidly,  “I swear I didn’t mean that,  it’s just that the dress seems too short”.

    “Are you trying to insult my intelligence Steph,  what is wrong with me dressing up to go to a club,  we both know there will be far worst dressed ladies over there what I chose is no big deal;  you can’t talk me out of wearing what I want Steph” I retorted angrily clenching my fists tightly.

    I rolled my eyes as he ran his hand through his shaved  hair,  pleading with his eyes, “Ok you can wear what you want Casse, you know I’d do anything to make you happy” my  lips tugged up a bit as I heard him say those words.  I really love how sincere he was, with me when it came to his feelings. 

    I always had the upper hand, sadly those were not reciprocated, I wish I could LOVE him. 


    Dinner with Steve was amazing I was marveled at how he flirted with me openly in front of Steph,  but when he did same to the waitress I believed hands down that Steve was the biggest flirt ever. 

    I got to know he was an investor and although he didn’t really go deep into his life I could tell he was pretty well off. I zoned out when he and Steph started talking about sports

    “So are you really up for some good dancing Steph?…..cos your honeymoon would be  no way near perfect without a little clubbing in SA” he uttered winking at me when he said the last part.  I couldn’t help widening my lip,  “You’re right though” I replied winking back.  “I never took you for the partying type Casse” I chuckled and shook my head there was a lot he didn’t know about me, God there were lots of things even I didn’t know about myself but there was no need to  voice it out. 
    I looked around the huge hall filled with sweaty bodies,  as we made our way to the VIP section.
    I nodded in approval when Steve nodded to the waitress and a bucket filled with ice and two bottles of baileys was brought. I smiled approvingly when he opened the cork,  handing a glass to each of us. 

    “Babe I  think you should have a juice or something you could be  pregnant for all we know” I gritted my teeth trying so hard to  not unleash my anger on him WHAT THE HELL did he think I was a  fool to be pregnant now.  I cleared my throat and forced  a smile on my lip “I can assure you I’m not pregnant Steph” I forced out smiling at him. 
    I really wonder why  I got my self in this confusion,  maybe it was a mistake after all,  I mean who does this thing at a young age I’m only 23 not even close to a age I should be bothered with this marriage crap. 
    I placed the glass between my lips and took a sip. Then swallowed the whole content in the glass “See nothing happened” I shrugged showing him the glass.  Steve was really  quiet and didn’t interfere,  “Let’s go dance Steve,  I feel really old right now and Steph will only make it worse” I uttered pulling  Steve from his seat  maybe it’s time  Steph meets the real Cassia.