FOR BETTER FOR BEST 

A year on……

SIXTEEN B

Cassie 

For better for best I’ve always sought, I had the best and held it loosely afraid holding it tight would make it mean more than it was. 

Totally clueless its worth was beyond my imagination. We obsess so much for worldly desires which only tends to makes us lose focus on our main purpose. 

The love of money makes us do so many absurdities which not only does the society frown on but the creator. 

Losing Steph has been the most painful thing I’d ever  endured, I would gladly  go through another surgery with no anesthetia to numb  the pain for the outer pain felt like a prick to the pain I felt inside.
Nora and mom took care of me at the hospital but didn’t talk to me,  it took a failed  suicide for them to realize I was depressed. 
I slowly wiped the tears that had made it to my cheek, my retribution is the love I now feel for him,  and being practically a zombie. 

The only thing I do is go to my mom’s shop when I have nothing to do at my farm. 

I took off the dirty gloves from my hand and washed them,  mom and I were throwing a surprise birthday party for Nora. 

I called the event planner as I drove into the city, she confirmed everything was ready.

  I frowned a bit when I got to the venue,  the place was eerily quiet,  it was almost time so people would troop in soon and from what I could make out no progress had been made,  I called again but the call went unanswered. 

I called mom’s line, it also went unanswered,  I was so  close  to losing my temper now. 

I opened the car door and walked out looking around if I could find anyone,  I walked straight to the door and was surprised to find it ajar. Maybe robbers attacked them,  the little light gleaming from my phone was what helped me move around. 

With the help of my phone I looked around the wall if I  could make out where the switch was, the room suddenly lit up.  I was surprised to find my name engraved symmetrically on the wall.

I tsked and started dialling the event planner’s number again. 

Maybe she made a mistake. 

                    ° …•…°…•…°…•…°

Heartbeats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I’m afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

*

I closed my eyes when the fragrance I’ve yearned for what seemed like eternity wafted through  my nostril as  Christina Perri’s song played in the background. I dragged a long breath giving in to the deception of my sense. 

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

“My life has been on a standstill since the day  I left you at the hospital” 

I turned abruptly almost losing my balance.  My senses seem to be in overdrive today my ears, eyes and nostrils seem to have taken the job away from my mind today  ,  I was the one at fault and I’ve regretted it with every breath I’ve taken in the past year.
One step closer

One step closer
He moved forward, and held my hand,  my eyes widened I tightened my hands around his,  “Please forgive me Steph,  don’t leave me again,  I regret all that I’ve done”  I touched his face, his beard seem to have thickened, he wrapped his arms around me I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, I reopened them looking up to his face afraid he might disappear if I kept them closed. 
“I’ll not leave,  sorry for punishing us this much” he whispered, wiping tears I didn’t even know I was shedding,  he  kissed my head as we slowly danced to the last part of the  song.

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more.

                ° …•…°…•…°…•…°
EPILOGUE
 I stood at the side of the altar in my  peach colored maiden of honor gown watching as my best friend got hitched to the player now turned committed fian-no husband.. I smiled at Steph, he looked very handsome  in his suit, I fanned my eyes to prevent the tear at the brink of my eyes fall. Nora’s eyes were filled with so much love and sincerity as she looked into the eyes of Steve while saying her vow.  

I wish I had been as much sincere during my wedding.  I stole a glance at Steve, and quickly looked away when our eyes met.  
Was he truly over what happened? ..

My heart sank when I realized what I really made him go through.
I didn’t talk to him during the short car ride to the reception,  I bolted out of the car to the ladies immediately it stopped.

Mom and Steph were the first I saw  on the dance floor when I reentered the hall,  they were laughing and dancing,  Steph was not a good dancer especially to the hi-life song that was playing. He stilled and looked around,  I returned the huge smile plastered on his face when our eyes met. He bent and said something in mom’s ear then made a beeline to where I was.  

“Hey beautiful” I chuckled at his greeting “what is a beautiful lady  like you doing alone don’t you have a boyfriend?” I shrugged struggling to keep a straight face,  “Hope no one will beat me up when I dance with you, can I have this dance?” he asked as the song changed to a slow R’n’B. 

He dipped his head down and kissed the little bare space between my neck and shoulder, he held my chin up looking deep into my eyes.

“Nothing really matters to me as long as I have you,  never doubt my love for you,  don’t dwell on our past mistakes, the past will forever stay where it is,  what we are obliged to do is focus on the present cos it determines the future,  I love you Cassie, that’s what really matters”

That was all I needed then to clear my doubts,  he loved me and that’s all that matter.  “I love you too” he smiled and pecked me on the cheek. 
I patted my tummy discreetly praying my suspicions were right. 

I looked to where the bride and her groom were seated,  she gave me a thumbs up , Steph being who he was winked at me,  I gave them a smile and looked around mom was in a  deep conversation with Nora’s mom,  her dad was at the other side with a bunch of his friends. Almost every guest was either from mom’s,  Nora’s parents,  my farm or Steph’s company, with others from Senior high or tertiary. 

I looked back at Steph whose eyes were on me all the while,  I tightened the hold I had around his and rested my head on his chest listening to the rhythmical beat of his heart.  

THE END

FOR BETTER FOR BEST 

A year on……

SIXTEEN B

Cassie 

For better for best I’ve always sought, I had the best and held it loosely afraid holding it tight would make it mean more than it was. 

Totally clueless its worth was beyond my imagination. We obsess so much for worldly desires which only tends to makes us lose focus on our main purpose. 

The love of money makes us do so many absurdities which not only does the society frown on but the creator. 

Losing Steph has been the most painful thing I’d ever  endured, I would gladly  go through another surgery with no anesthetia to numb  the pain for the outer pain felt like a prick to the pain I felt inside.

Nora and mom took care of me at the hospital but didn’t talk to me,  it took a failed  suicide for them to realize I was depressed. 

I slowly wiped the tears that had made it to my cheek, my retribution is the love I now feel for him,  and being practically a zombie. 

The only thing I do is go to my mom’s shop when I have nothing to do at my farm. 

I took off the dirty gloves from my hand and washed them,  mom and I were throwing a surprise birthday party for Nora. 

I called the event planner as I drove into the city, she confirmed everything was ready.

  I frowned a bit when I got to the venue,  the place was eerily quiet,  it was almost time so people would troop in soon and from what I could make out no progress had been made,  I called again but the call went unanswered. 

I called mom’s line, it also went unanswered,  I was so  close  to losing my temper now. 

I opened the car door and walked out looking around if I could find anyone,  I walked straight to the door and was surprised to find it ajar. Maybe robbers attacked them,  the little light gleaming from my phone was what helped me move around. 

With the help of my phone I looked around the wall if I  could make out where the switch was, the room suddenly lit up.  I was surprised to find my name engraved symmetrically on the wall.

I tsked and started dialling the event planner’s number again. 

Maybe she made a mistake. 

                    ° …•…°…•…°…•…°

Heartbeats fast

Colors and promises
How to be brave

How can I love when I’m afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more
*
I closed my eyes when the fragrance I’ve yearned for what seemed like eternity wafted through  my nostril as  Christina Perri’s song played in the background. I dragged a long breath giving in to the deception of my sense. 

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

“My life has been on a standstill since the day  I left you at the hospital” 

I turned abruptly almost losing my balance.  My senses seem to be in overdrive today my ears, eyes and nostrils seem to have taken the job away from my mind today  ,  I was the one at fault and I’ve regretted it with every breath I’ve taken in the past year.

 
One step closer

One step closer

He moved forward, and held my hand,  my eyes widened I tightened my hands around his,  “Please forgive me Steph,  don’t leave me again,  I regret all that I’ve done”  I touched his face, his beard seem to have thickened, he wrapped his arms around me I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, I reopened them looking up to his face afraid he might disappear if I kept them closed. 

“I’ll not leave,  sorry for punishing us this much” he whispered, wiping tears I didn’t even know I was shedding,  he  kissed my head as we slowly danced to the last part of the  song.

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I love you for a thousand more.

                ° …•…°…•…°…•…°

EPILOGUE

 I stood at the side of the altar in my  peach colored maiden of honor gown watching as my best friend got hitched to the player now turned committed fian-no husband.. I smiled at Steph, he looked very handsome  in his suit, I fanned my eyes to prevent the tear at the brink of my eyes fall. Nora’s eyes were filled with so much love and sincerity as she looked into the eyes of Steve while saying her vow.  
I wish I had been as much sincere during my wedding.  I stole a glance at Steve, and quickly looked away when our eyes met.  
Was he truly over what happened? 

My heart sank when I realized what I really made him go through.
I didn’t talk to him during the short car ride to the reception,  I bolted out of the car to the ladies immediately it stopped.

Mom and Steph were the first I saw  on the dance floor when I reentered the hall,  they were laughing and dancing,  Steph was not a good dancer especially to the hi-life song that was playing. He stilled and looked around,  I returned the huge smile plastered on his face when our eyes met. He bent and said something in mom’s ear then made a beeline to where I was.  
“Hey beautiful” I chuckled at his greeting “what is a beautiful lady  like you doing alone don’t you have a boyfriend?” I shrugged struggling to keep a straight face,  “Hope no one will beat me up when I dance with you, can I have this dance?” he asked as the song changed to a slow R’n’B. 

He dipped his head down and kissed the little bare space between my neck and shoulder, he held my chin up looking deep into my eyes.

“Nothing really matters to me as long as I have you,  never doubt my love for you,  don’t dwell on our past mistakes, the past will forever stay where it is,  what we are obliged to do is focus on the present cos it determines the future,  I love you Cassie, that’s what really matters”
That was all I needed then to clear my doubts,  he loved me and that’s all that matter.  “I love you too” he smiled and pecked me on the cheek. 
I patted my tummy discreetly praying my suspicions were right. 
I looked to where the bride and her groom were seated,  she gave me a thumbs up , Steph being who he was winked at me,  I gave them a smile and looked around mom was in a  deep conversation with Nora’s mom,  her dad was at the other side with a bunch of his friends. Almost every guest was either from mom’s,  Nora’s parents,  my farm or Steph’s company, with others from Senior high or tertiary. 
I looked back at Steph who’s eyes were on me all the while,  I tightened the hold I had around his and rested my head on his chest listening to the rhythmical beat of his heart.  

THE END

FOR BETTER FOR BEST 

Five 💕

I couldn’t decipher what was happening to me so I decided to enjoy  whatever fun Steph had planned,  maybe letting this be a real honeymoon will ease the pressure  on the both of us,  for heaven knows I’d never remarry : enjoying this one to the fullest is my only option. 

Today’s tour was nothing short of amazing and sad,  seeing the prisons and everything had a little damper on my mood but I lightened up when we joined the carnival. Steph bought the huge feather crown and tutu for me,  I looked funny when I wore it, I had to pull my dress up tying the ends so I  could dance freely. We took lots of pictures and videos.  “Let’s go over there Steph” I uttered pulling him to a tent, there was a long queue but I was curious to know what was going on.  “Why are we still standing here when we can be having fun” he asked trying to pull me away, I shook my head and wrapped his hand around my body “We’ll know when we get there”I watched as couples walked away smiling, and others with frowns. 

I didn’t believe in this but it would be fun to  see how people make up lies about your life and tell you the impossible would come to pass. 
I smiled and kissed Steph whenever he tsked I was getting  impatient myself but my curiosity was at its peak. 

We waited patiently as the girl before us rose from the woman’s chair with a wide smile on he face. 

I almost bellowed in laughter at Steph’s scrunched face as he took his seat he looked like he a child that had been denied his favorite candy.  “Aww poor baby stop sulking” I cooed pouting my lips a bit then turned to the lady.  “Ah I can see you two are newly weds” the old lady said in her thick South African accent as she placed her stack of cards close to her, I almost rolled my eyes we were definitely newly weds our wedding bands were brand new even a blind man could tell we were newly married. 

“Give me your hand” I thrusted my hand into her wrinkled ones and waited for her to speak “Ah” she began with a wide smile then frowned as her smile dropped just as it came “I can see so much bitterness” she began in a voice so small I wouldn’t  have heard if I wasn’t so attentive, then crossed a look at Steph,  I didn’t miss the glint of  sadness that crossed her face. She forced a smile  and asked Steph for his hand, he frowned in confusion as he gave her his hand “You are a brave one” she said looking up after she had studied the lines in his hand, there was some kind of message that transpired between them when their eyes locked. 

“What you will go through is going to  hurt more than what you’ve been through but you are a brave one” she volubled.

“We are charactarised by different motions,  we choose which one to depict us” she said quickly looking into my eyes I couldn’t avoid the loud thumping of my heart as fear set into my veins seeping into my blood and bone. My breath became shallow as I  shivered from the sudden chill that engulfed me. 

My brain was  shouting run but my limbs were too weak to comply. What was happening,  I blinked rapidly when my eye met Steph’s did he catch on what the woman told me?.  I forced a smile at his worried face but even I could tell it wasn’t convincing.  “I doubt what she said is e-e-ver going to come to pass” he assured but the little waver in his voice was enough to tell me even he wasn’t sure of what he was saying maybe we were two disturbed souls who have only come together to ruin each other. 

But even if I was to be ruined there was no way I’d be miserable like my mom,  this only  certified that my future actions will be totally necessary, ‘I’ll never end up miserable’ I repeated the mantra as I shook my head sideways.